Most of us grew up being told what we did wrong -- NOT what we did right!
According to Dr. Edythe Denkin, if we want our children to grow up to be as self-confidnet and well-behaved as they can be, we need to break the cycle fo negative feedback.
This is also the belief of Love Our Children USA.
Most often wee treat our children the way we were treated - completing a destructive pattern that breeds resentment and misbehavior.
By focusing on what you and your children are doing right and finding positive ways to address the difficult situations every family encounters, you can build your children's happiness, self-esteem and confidence in themselves, in you - and in your family.
How to Raise Well-Behaved, Secure, Confident Children - What do you do when your child is fresh? Has a tantrum? Hits you? Makes you so angry you could hit him or her?
Dr. Denkin's Creating Good From Bad kit will help you to feel successful as you raise your child, and will teach you how to respond to each of your child's new developmental stages as they occur.
CREATING GOOD FROM BAD KIT
1. Booklet For Child
2. Booklet for Parents
3. Kid Coins (six)
4. Velveteen treasure bag -for children's coins
5. Book, "Why Can't You Catch Me Being Good?"
Kid Coins are used to "Create Good From Bad™." They stand for Rules, Rewards, & Consequences.
In order to establish good behavior, children need rules - after all they've only been in this world a short time. As kids are concrete in their thinking, rules help them understand exactly what you want - just as a computer gives you the exact information you ask for.
Be careful what you say, and how you ask for what you want - because that is exactly what you will get. Children, unlike computers, respond in feeling to your tone of voice, body language, as well as your words. In "Why Can't You Catch Me Being Good?" Dr. Denkin helps you to become aware of what feelings your child triggers in you, and why you respond as you do to each other. When you discover answers, you will be in a position to successfully begin the process of "Creating Good Behavior From Bad"; and by using the tone of voice and body language that helps your child to feel loved and secure, you will achieve success.
While you plan to "Create Good From Bad," and change a behavior, reward your child for working on the change - as it is excellent motivation. Please remember to work on one new behavior at a time, and continue to reward the new behavior for four weeks -as it takes time, and commitment for each of us to change habits. That is the purpose of the reward. At first your child will want to use this new behavior just to receive the reward. When you reward generously, four weeks later, your child's new behavior will become a habit. Then, together you and your child can decide the next behavior to work on correcting.
Most children respond to rewards, but if your child says he does not want a reward, and will not work to change a behavior, accept that as your child's choice. But your child must then know there are consequences for not obeying the rule - which you state in advance - in writing, do follow through. Most children choose the reward.
YOUR PLAN IS SIMPLE: BEHAVIOR, REWARD, CONSEQUENCE!
MOST IMPORTANT - FOLLOW THROUGH!
If problems persist please consult a family counselor.
About Dr. Denkin
Dr. Edythe Denkin has been a child and family counselor since 1979. In 1983, she co-founded The Center for Counseling and Development, where she still practices.
For every purchase of Why Can't You Catch Me Being Good
Dr. Denkin will generously donate a portion of the book's proceeds to
Love Our Children USA
To learn more about Dr. Denkin and to purchase Why Can't You Catch Me Being Good and/or her Creating Good From Bad Kit (which includes the book)
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